literally like
all i want to do is sit down at my keyboard and try and learn some pretty sounding Maj7 chords
or just piss about in a program trying to learn something or try to understand quantum physics but
no
i can’t because the person who set the ferrocene thing hasn’t replied to me asking for an extension because these stupid meds made me fall asleep (legit woke up with a “shit what day is it who where” kind of affair) and it was an hour before work and essentially i had just ended up sleeping 6 hours cos i dropped the ball for a half hour and accidentally did all the “hey body go to sleep as long as you want” mannerisms
literally can i have a whole month
where like
i don’t have to worry about uni work or my job or any deadlines or any impending “i have to emotionally numb myself cos if i don’t i will regret it” or any “shit i have no clue what this is about” or no fucking tutorials that sap 50% of my time and i still can’t get them done
can i just get over this massive neurosis i have about time in which i waste most of it being depressed and when i am not depressed there is work to do
its like the money problems i used to have like i used to get really fucking panicky about ever going outside my budget even if i needed to buy something for my own wellbeing
and now all it takes is a glance at a clock to either see i should have been in bed 2 hours ago and now you won’t be able to function at all
or whoops its an hour and a half before work i hope you weren’t planning on getting anything done cos now the gordian knot of idiosyncrasies means you have to prepare mentally an hour beforehand and you have no choice
literally can i just have a break or sthg
and not have to worry about having a break in itself
ok rant over going to get some work done and try to make something out of something cos
if i sit here stewing and have nothing to show for it - guess what will be wasted??????? yes that thing i’m fretting about
hardly logical is it
